Just Another Day At the Chunky Carrot...
by joetimmyalexluvr
Summary: i hate summary boxes...*blink blink* it's a pretty old story...just READ IT! ^^ kinda funny, kinda adorable...just INTEReSTING...R


It was a humid summer night when Gabby, Alice, and Johnny headed out to The Cheese Bucket, the hottest club in town. Upon their arrival to the club Gabby immediately pulled out glow sticks up the whazoo and passed them out to everyone. Alice, in a black velvet miniskirt and lacey red top generously took six glow sticks to herself and left one for each of the remaining party. "YEE-HAW!!!" Alice squealed after a few hours of clubbing, for she was as drunk as could be. Gabby quickly popped a mint out from her purse and handed it to dear ol' Alice to relieve her breath of alcohol stench. "Gee Gabby, that sure is a nice elephant you got there," she hiccupped, "can I get a polkie-dotted one for my purple zebra, ahahaha, look at Johnny, ahahaha, he looks alive right now," Alice proclaimed rather intoxicated sounding, as she laughed hysterically in intervals. Johnny, rather mystified by the stupidity of Alice, pressed on to the side table where they sell glow sticks, brownies, and far more than your measly imagination can even dream about. As Gabby stalked NNY to the side table, she saw the back of an old, prunified, wrinkled man, with a white balding head and apparently a wide load of junk in the trunk. Just as the old man turned around, Gabby made the astonishing realization of the "man's" true identity. It's too bad that before Gabby could say a peep, Alice came rushing out, and in all drunken wisdom announced. "HEY LOOKEY! Ahahah, IT'S MISTER BAILEY!!! Ah-har-har THAT FATASS WADDLING SUB!! AHAHA GABBY LOOK!!!!" Alice shrieked rather dramatically. "SHUDDUP! YOU DRUNKEN MORON!" Gabby whispered rather harshly back to her intoxicated cohort. Meanwhile, Johnny was on the opposite side of the club, all alone, downing vodka shots and checking out the incoming locals. Why do they look at me like that? Am I that hideous? My face.long and vulgar.my hair...stringy and disgusting.my eyes.large and bulging. NNY thought as he buried his face in his long, bone-like fingers. After the fiasco with the glow stick selling fatso, Gabby and Alice both darted to sit next to Johnny at the bar. Johnny hit his head on the bar and shouted random cuss words. "Poor baby!" Gabby said as she patted Johnny on the back to comfort him. "Aww, sweetie, it's okay.we're here for you now," Alice said after Gabby. "Errr, umm.ok.thanks.I guess." NNY replied as he got up to go to the bathroom. Gabby and Alice glared at each other in a sinister manner as they both headed to the dance floor to get their grooves on. Unfortunately for them, out of the blue Jake and Shane came waltzing in hand-in-hand in matching black Armani suits. "Oh Jakie! You are soooooooo romantic!" Shane said sweetly. "The pleasure is all mine, my darling," Jake replied matter-of-factly as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet case and handed it to Shane. "Oh my! What is it?" Shane said as he opened the box to find a string of diamond encrusted pearls, "Oh Jakie!!! They are beautiful!!!" He said as Jake put the necklace on for him. After seeing the scene, Gabby almost fainted on the spot when she saw Jake intimately wrapping his arms around his "friend" Shane. "Hey Gabby, isn't that the guy that you follow every day after school on the way home?" Alice said carelessly as she downed another bottle of whiskey. "Ah, heh heh, no of course not! IT CAN'T BE!!!! NOOOO!!!! WHY JAKE WHY!!! After all we've done together!!!" Gabby shrieked. "What'd you do together? Correct each other's papers in science? HAR HAR HAR," Alice heckled as she dropped the glass whiskey bottle to ground amidst the laughter, "OHOHOHOHO!!! LOOKEY SHINY BROKEN GLASS REFLECTS DISCO BALL!!! OHOHOHOHO!" "Why won't you DIE Alice, please, just go DIE, for the sake of the universe DIE! But why does it matter anyways, you killed me, you KILLED me Alice. I'm dead, you know why? Because you KILLED me. I am in hell, because YOU killed ME. You killed me Alice," Gabby said half-heartedly. In a few short minutes, out popped Johnny, in his striped attire and he walked on over to Gabby and Alice. He coughed and stowed away his small pocket knife for later uses. "Oh Johnny! You came back!!! I missed you so! I was so lonely without you during the war!!! And the children! Ah! Worried sick about you!" Alice said as she glomped onto Johnny, obviously delirious from the alcohol. Johnny blushed in a deep shade of red and finally realized who was glomping onto him, so he quickly shoved her away onto the bar. Without question, Alice quickly started to guzzle another bottle of whiskey as well as six rounds of vodka. "Come Churchill! We dance!" Alice squealed as she grabbed the stuffed bulldog plushie and flailed her arms around madly to the techno beat. Johnny's bulging eye twitched as he watched the wasted girl dance like a maniac rather freakishly. "Johnny wanna dance?" Gabby asked NNY shyly as she twirled her hair and waited for Johnny's answer. "Erm, I can't dance, I'M HIDEOUS!!!!!!!!!" Johnny yelled as he dashed off into the ladies room and ran into Jake and Shane on the way. Gabby shrugged it off and bounced on to the dance floor to "shake her groove thang". "HOOHOO! OH CHURCHILL! YOU FOX, YOU! SHAKE IT BABY!!!" Alice shrieked frantically as she ran into an anonymous "groover". "Oops! Sorry about that! Ahahaha, SO sorry! But see, it was the monkey's fault!!!" Alice said as she pointed to the bulldog. "No problem babe, say, you doin' anything tonight? I got a ride back to my place, if ya know what I mean." the blazing pimpster said to our dear friend Alice. "OH MY! I MAY BE DRUNK! BUT I KNOW BROCK WHEN I SEE HIM!" Alice retorted blatantly to the flushed pimp, also known as "The Brockster". The mob of scantily clad hoes surrounded Brock with various "Oooohs" and "Ahhhs". "Oh Brock, your are sooo manly!" The hoe, formerly known as Misty said. "Oh yeah Brock, look at all of those chest hairs sprouting beneath that sexy purple coat! You're a real man now!" Replied the transsexual Ash and his skanky partner Pikachu. Gary, the gym leader's, mob of cheerleaders, also moshed around Brock chanting like idiots: Brockster Brockster, he's our man! If he can't do it no one can!!! WHOOOOOO!!!. The mere sight of these mentally incapable bimbos made Alice cringe so she decided to take action and beat the hoes with the nearest weapon..Churchill. "THWACK THWACK THWACK!" Alice shrieked, mocking the sound of the bulldog plushie hitting the cheer squad members thick skulls in all drunken splendor. "OHOHOHO! NOTHING TO CHEER ABOUT NOW, EH? THWACK THWACK!" Alice continued with the beatings while periodically laughing hysterically at Brock's strange faces. "Erm, are you finished yet?" Brock said lamely. "Oh yeah! SORRY about that, sometimes eggplants get the best of me!!! Ahahahaha! Get it? EGGPLANTS?!?!" Alice replied idiotically in all drunken madness. "Um, not really..but I think I can deal with it.so.uh.erm.can I buy you a drunk? I mean drink?" Brock said stupidly.  
  
To Be Continued..PLEASE R&R 


End file.
